Waiting

Waiting

and

Waiting

You've shown me glimpses of what's to be but I'm tired of waiting...

Hope differed 

Heart is weak

Losing hope...

Trying to hold onto it

Slipping away 

This is not where I'm supposed to be

Or is it?

Preparation (I'm so ready)

Learning (I already know)

Be patient  (I have been)

So hard

In the waiting

He could have

He could have left me in the pit

but He pulled me out

He could left me in my pain

but He healed my hurts

He could have left me in my shame

but He made me righteous 

He could have let me walk away

but He kept coming after me

Praise God

He could have left me

but I was His

He never left my side

Whatever

Whatever, God 

I'm tired of worrying about it

So whatever 

I'm tired of crying over it

So whatever

I'm tired of fighting You over it

So whatever

Do whatever

Whatever pleases You

Whatever is Your will

Whatever is best for me

Whatever, God

Do whatever 

Can I be real

And you not judge me?

Can I be real 

And you not snub me?

Can I be real 

And you not tell about me?

This is me:

broken

sinner 

imperfect

But also

compassionate

caring

loving 

kind

all those pieces 

one woman

real

Emotions 

Riding the waves

Soaring in the clouds

Sinking in the depths

My anchor

Father, keep me steady

Help me walk on water

Eyes on You

No sinking

Take my hand

You're my anchor

Holding me

Keeping me focused 

Keep me steady

If I had not gone through my pain

I wouldn't know how completely He heals

If I hadn't cried those tears 

I wouldn't know He collects them in a bottle

If I hadn't had my heart broken

I wouldn't know how much He loves me

If I hadn't walked the hard roads

I wouldn't know He directs my paths

If I hadn't been in need

I wouldn't know how He provides

I wouldn't trade these lessons for an easier life. 

I have a life so free 

A life so full

See beyond

See beyond 

Beyond the surface

Beyond the physical

To the heart

The soul

So easy to take people at face value 

But never see the value beyond 

Take the time 

Feel the heart 

See the soul

Time never wasted 

If people could see

If people could see the wounds left by their words and actions

If people could see the pieces left behind of a broken heart 

If people could see the tears that have fallen from eyes filled with them

If people could see the soul torn in sorrow 

Maybe they would be more mindful

Maybe they would be more caring

Maybe they would be more loving

Maybe they wouldn't bring the pain

Just be

Just be

Be in the moment

This is the time that matters

Be present

Be loving 

Be aware

Be open

Just be

Don't rush ahead

Time moves fast enough 

Find the joy

Find the beauty

Find the peace

In each moment

Don't miss it

Just be

Heart always searching

Wanting a place to land

Peace

Be still

Covered by Christ's love

Treasured 

Kept safe

Prone to wander

Searching once again

My heart gets weary

Disappointed

And sometimes 

Broken

Back again 

Jesus, keep it

Peace 

Be still

The love I ache for can only come from Him

Empty places filled by His presence 

Soothe my soul

Fill my longings 

I want no one but You

Wavering

I trust 

I don't

I remember 

I forget 

You've walked me through the tough times. 

You were there 

Why is it so easy to forget

Steadfast is Your Love

Your truth

You. 

You are steadfast

I am not

How I want to be

I want to trust

To remember 

You've never failed me

You never will

Wavering

I trust 

I don't

I remember 

I forget 

You've walked me through the tough times. 

You were there 

Why is it so easy to forget

Steadfast is Your Love

Your truth

You. 

You are steadfast

I am not

How I want to be

I want to trust

To remember 

You've never failed me

You never will

Time so cruel

Passing so quickly

Once Hot Wheels and baseballs 

Now moving away in the Fall

Books read

Balls thrown 

Prayers prayed 

I love you's said

Time flies

So bittersweet 

Mom smiles with tears

Memories to keep 

You have now

Take a step beyond

Beyond the pain

Beyond the shame

Beyond the regret 

Can't go back

Can't change choices made

Can't become who you should have been back then

You have now

There is still

A future

A hope

A plan 

You have today and it's beautiful

You have now

Take a step beyond

Beyond the pain

Beyond the shame

Beyond the regret 

Can't go back

Can't change choices made

Can't become who you should have been back then

You have now

There is still

A future

A hope

A plan 

You have today and it's beautiful

Fill me

Constant need

Fill me

From one thing to the next

From one person to the next

Fill me

It's only a filter 

Temporary

Runs out

Fill me, Jesus

Becomes a flow

Flow through me

Fill the empty places

Fill the hurts

Fill the needs

Fullness

Satisfied 

Content 

Fill me, Jesus

Moving on

Deleted old numbers 

Wish I could delete the memories

Mistakes 

Hurt

Damage done

Removing the ties

Healing the pain

Moving forward 

Reclaiming pieces of me

The voice within

The voice within tears me down

When I let it

The voice within breaks my own heart

When I let it

The voice within tells me I'm not worth it

When I let it

The voice within needs

New words

New thoughts 

New truths 

Over and over

Letter by letter

Truth by truth

Read it

Speak it

Believe it

Faith (in me) comes by hearing

And hearing by the Word of God

Chosen

Loved

Redeemed

Righteous 

Cherished

Daughter of the Most High

Renewed mind

Renewed heart 

Renewed strength 

Who am I?

Who am I?

Take this quiz

Take this test

All in fun, but aren't we all looking for answers, affirmations?

Tell me who I am

Smart?

Sexy?

Fun?

What kind of friend?

What kind of mom?

What kind of woman?

What kind of man?

Who am I?

Answers truly only found within

Within us

Within Christ 

Within His Word

True selves revealed when we look in the right places.