Just me..

I am who I am.

Daughter
Mother
Friend

Rough around the edges because of life.

Loved by God
Lover of God

A bit sassy
A bit sarcastic

I laugh
I cry

Finally at the point where all I want to be is who God wants me to be.  Nothing else.
No other labels.
No other expectations.

I am His only.

Set apart for a time to become...to learn...to experience what He has for me.

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

Unbreakable - Fireflight

For my daughter

I feel expectant.
I feel an idea, a dream being ready to be birthed.

For my daughter...
For your daughter...
For our daughters...

Empowerment
Strength

They are MIGHTY in Christ.

It is time to teach our daughters to be strong in Christ.
It is time to teach our daughters the power they have through Christ.
It is time to teach our daughters their worth in Christ.

They will be shaken
They will fall
but if they have a firm foundation in Christ...

On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.
I will not be moved....

He knew

There's a lot said about Jesus welcoming the children. One of the main stories taught in children's church. The disciples tried to push them away, but Christ wanted to be with them. I wonder if they were laughing and running around him. Tugging on his robes. Playing with them. Or did they sit in awe of Him?  Did they scramble in His lap to be held by Him?  One day, I imagine, we will know. 

One story that's also told, though not to children, is of the woman who came and anointed His feet with her hair. 

Reading a few different translations, one says "a Sinful Woman". One says "an especially wicked sinner". Yeah. Really. I guess that needs to be told. It's not pretty, but it's real. Parts of our story aren't pretty, but they are real and important. 

In knowing that she was a sinner, even an especially wicked one, we understand. She had made some wrong choices. She had lost her way. She was broken and bruised. 

The Pharisee had no sympathy for her. Didn't want her in his home. Said to himself, "If He only knew what she had done!"  Can you imagine the look of disgust on his face?  I can. 

But Jesus did know. He knew. He knew the depths of her sin. He knew the pain that she caused in her sin. He knew!

And forgave her. 

He allowed her to come close to him. To honor him. To worship him. Because he also knew her heart. He knew how much she needed his forgiveness. He knew how broken she was because of her sin. He knew how much she needed healing. 

He know how much she needed his love. 

His unconditional love. 

He told her to enter into peace. Enter into the freedom from all the distresses that are experiences as a result of sin. (Luke 7:50 AMP)

He knew her sin. He knew her. And he welcomed her to Him. He took her sin and gave her peace and forgiveness. 

I will not be moved!

Woke up today depressed.  Just did not want to get up and work out like I had planned.
Made coffee.
Sat in the bed and watched Walking Dead.
Seeing people die really helped.  (sarcasm there)

Decided to shower and get ready for work.  Sigh....

I don't remember exactly how I decided, but I put on my Mandisa station on Pandora.
Wow...

First song was hers.  Stronger

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger

This song was one I listened to over and over while I was pregnant.  I didn't know how I would make it through.  But I had no choice.  I had to be strong.  For me, for my boys, for my baby girl.

Then the song, In Christ Alone, came on.  yeah...Ok, God.  I see what you're doing.  

Then the ultimate.  My life song.  

I Will Not Be Moved.

I listened to it and just cried.

I have been the wayward child
I have acted out
I have questioned sovereignty
and had my share of doubts
And though sometimes my prayers feel like they're bouncing off the sky
The hand I hold won't let me go
and is the reason why...

I will stumble, I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes, I will face heartache,
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand,
all other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

Bitterness has plagued my heart many times before
My life has been like broken glass, and I have kept the score
of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed
that I was far too gone
My brokenness helped me to see it's grace I'm standing on

It felt like Christ just came down in my pit and raised me up.  I felt a strength I hadn't felt in so long.

4 years....almost 4 years ago to the day I jumped into the pit.  4 years ago, my life changed forever.

Genesis 50:20You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result—the survival of many people.

What was meant to bring me down, humiliate me, shame me is being used for good!  God is using it!  God is allowing me to share my story with other women and encouraging them.  

I was down for a time, but I'm back.  I feel His power.  I feel His grace.  I feel His love and acceptance.  

I 

Will

Not 

Be

Moved

Natalie Grant - I will not be moved  Watch her!  Love her.  She rocks!!

What's expected?

I've always wanted to know what's expected of me.  What do you expect of me at work?  At home?  In a relationship?  

God is no different.

What does He expect of me?

What I thought He expected...
Perfection.

That word sums it up.  

If I lived my life perfectly...
Read my Bible every day
Listen to only Christian Music
Don't drink...don't smoke...
Fit in the mold of "Christianity".  

Be the perfect Christian...woman...wife...mother....

Well, I wasn't.  Not by a long shot.  I failed.  Pretty publicly too. 

I was putting the cart before the horse.

What does the Lord require?

Micah 6:8Amplified Bible (AMP)

8 He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, and to love kindness and mercy, and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God?

Matthew 22:37-39Amplified Bible (AMP)37 And He replied to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind (intellect).38 This is the great (most important, principal) and first commandment.

39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself. 

Love Him...That's what He requires of us.  That's what He wants.  Us to love Him.

I don't have to worry about being anything or anyone, just love Him.
Everything else will fall into place. 

We were planned for

Ephesians 2:10

¹⁰ For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.

There is one thought that has really awed me about this verse.

God prepared ahead of time.

Other versions say:

God hath before ordained.  (KJV)

Prepared in advance.  (NIV)
God predestined.  (AMP)

If God prepared ahead of time something for us to do, good works...wouldn't that mean WE were planned?  He thought of us long, long ago.  He's had his plan in the works for thousands of years, we see that with Abraham, Issac, David, Ruth and all of those in the line of Christ.  We are part of that plan.  We were planned for.

That means we (you) are NOT a mistake.  God didn't say, "Oops, didn't know she was coming!".  No matter what someone tells you, your mom, your dad, a teacher, you are not a mistake, you have a destiny in Christ.  God, the Creator of the entire universe, wanted you here.  He wants a relationship with you.  

You matter to God. 

Restoration!

I was reading the entry for Jesus Calling this morning and looking up the verses at the bottom of the page.  One was 1 Corinthians 4:18, but instead, I "accidentally" ended up at 5:18

Everything is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:

Ok...well I wanted to read the verses around it.  

¹⁶ From now on, then, we do not know^[a]anyone in a purely human way.^[b] Even if we have known^[c] Christ in a purely human way,^[d] yet now we no longer know^[e] Him in this way. 
¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things^[f] have come. 
¹⁸ Everything is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:
¹⁹ That is, in Christ, God was reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed the message of reconciliation to us. 
²⁰ Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, certain that God is appealing through us. We plead on Christ’s behalf, “Be reconciled to God.” 
²¹ He made the One who did not know sin to be sin^[g] for us, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

Verse 16:  From now on...  If you look at the verses before Paul talks about Christ dying for ALL.
So, from now on, since Christ died for all, we don't know anyone in purely a human way anymore.  Just like we no longer know Christ in a human way, but spiritual.  
My thoughts, we can't look at others in just the natural or human way, but spiritual, which is how Christ sees them.  Kinda hard with some people, I must admit!

Verse 17 is awesome!  We are new creations!  We are NEW!  The old is gone, hallelujah!!!

Verse 18:  Everything is from God, NIV says all this is from God.  I need to look into this more, but since verse 17 says new things have come and then says everything is from God, I believe Paul is reminding us the new things are from God.  
Now for the rest of the verse, God reconciled or restored us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation or restoration.

Restoration...What a word!!  
From the dictionary:

c : a restoring to an unimpaired or improved condition restoration of a painting>

Restoring to an improved condition!  We are a broken people and God is wanting to restore us!  To improve us!  How many times have you heard we must be broken to be used?  It's a hard, hard process, refining us like gold going through the fire.  Ugh.  When you're going through it, you just want it over and done with.  BUT!  When you can get to a point of looking back and saying, "Oh!  I see what you were doing, God!  Wow!"  What a blessing that is!  

Verse 19:  Again, Paul says how God is restoring the world, us, to Christ.  Hmm.. Repeated, must be important!  Then, he says that God did not count their (our) trespasses or sins against us.  That's good to know!  And repeats again, the ministry we have of reconciliation and restoration.  He has committed it to us. A definition in Strong's says established.  He established it with us.  That is our ministry...person through which something is accomplished.  We have to bring the message of reconciliation to others!  That's our job!
Not to judge, but to be a vessel God can use to restore!

Verse 20:  None of this can be done without this.  He made Christ the sacrifice for sin so we could be made right with God.  Restored with God.  This is how the restoration comes.  Through Christ, through His Sacrifice, we are restored to righteousness, ready for a relationship with Our Father.  Ready to be used, to minister, to be that vessel of restoration for others.

Restoration...That is what the Father seeks, to be restored with His children.  And to restore our broken places to be new creations in Christ.