Saturday, December 5, 2015

My Defining Moment

In Shelia Walsh's book "5 Minutes with Jesus", she talks about a woman that she ended up sitting next to on a plane.  A woman who was reading one of her books.  The woman talked about how she felt stuck.  Shelia asked her why and she told her it was a long story.  Don't we all have them?
Shelia told her she wanted to hear the long story, but give it to her in 5 minutes. In her book, she says, "I have found that this exercise effectively reveals what we consider the most significant moments in our lives."

I decided to do that.  What would be my story in 5 minutes?

Of course the main thing I thought of was my sin.  That was a defining moment in my life.  Changed my whole world.  That's what I was hanging on to.  What I did.  That's how I defined myself.

Today, I'm giving myself a new defining moment.  March 16, 2015.  (Look back at that post)


Day I decided to tell God, "I'm back!"  

It's been quite a journey since that moment, but today marks yet another defining moment.  
I'm no longer living in my old self.
I am redeemed
I am restored
I am greatly loved by God.  

My defining moments will no longer be what I did, but what God has done in my life.
It's about Him.  
His healing
His love
For His glory

Friday, December 4, 2015

Be the one

Be the one that soothes my soul
Be the one that kindles the fire
Be the one that brings me to life
Be the one that loves all of me
Be the one that puts me first
Be the one that seeks me
Be the one that pursues me

Be the one that I pursue
Be the one I can't live without 
Be the one I love completely
Be the one I put first
Be the one I think of first 
Be the one I I live for
Be the one I take every breath for

Heavenly Father
Be the One

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Comes in waves

Grief comes in waves. 
Healing seems to also

When you reach out finally
Express your sorrow for your actions 
Healing comes 

Freedom comes
Relief 

Time to move on 
Time to see what's next 

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

It's time

My sin is no longer mine. 

I asked forgiveness 
I received it

Jesus took it
God threw it as far as the east is from the west. 
He no longer remembers it. 

Why am I hanging onto it?
Why am I living condemned?

It's time to live forgiven
It's time to live free


Monday, August 31, 2015

What about me

Love unconditional
Acceptance 
Understanding 

Looking for it in places it can't be found
Only offered with conditions
Expectations 
Theirs not mine

Fit the mold
Do what they think is right

Don't even try to understand my reasons
my whys 

Still being broken 
Still being wounded 

Ones I'm supposed to trust
To count on
Can't be

Don't I even matter
My hurts
My heart
My mind

Move on

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

faith?

faith
trust
believe 

i do
i don't 

i want to

help my unbelief 
words earnestly spoken
heart's cry

help me trust You
help me have faith in You
help me to believe You

i want to
more than anything

want to trust You
with my life
with my heart
with my deepest desires

help my unbelief

Friday, August 14, 2015

The shadow

Divorce creates an emptiness... A void

There was someone there
Then there is not. 

Trying to find someone to fill the void. Who will fit? 
I try one or the other. 
No. 
No.

Try to ignore it. 
Try to pretty it up with things, friends.

Doesn't change it. 
Still an empty place. 
Like a shadow. 
Following me around. 
Never letting me forget. 

Alone. 
Empty.