Thursday, May 19, 2016

Waiting

Waiting
and
Waiting

You've shown me glimpses of what's to be but I'm tired of waiting...

Hope differed 
Heart is weak

Losing hope...
Trying to hold onto it
Slipping away 

This is not where I'm supposed to be
Or is it?
Preparation (I'm so ready)
Learning (I already know)
Be patient  (I have been)

So hard
In the waiting

He could have

He could have left me in the pit
but He pulled me out

He could left me in my pain
but He healed my hurts

He could have left me in my shame
but He made me righteous 

He could have let me walk away
but He kept coming after me

Praise God

He could have left me
but I was His
He never left my side

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Whatever

Whatever, God 

I'm tired of worrying about it
So whatever 

I'm tired of crying over it
So whatever

I'm tired of fighting You over it
So whatever

Do whatever

Whatever pleases You
Whatever is Your will
Whatever is best for me

Whatever, God
Do whatever 

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Can I be real
And you not judge me?

Can I be real 
And you not snub me?

Can I be real 
And you not tell about me?

This is me:
broken
sinner 
imperfect

But also
compassionate
caring
loving 
kind

all those pieces 
one woman
real



Monday, May 2, 2016

Emotions 
Riding the waves

Soaring in the clouds
Sinking in the depths

My anchor

Father, keep me steady
Help me walk on water
Eyes on You
No sinking
Take my hand

You're my anchor
Holding me
Keeping me focused 

Keep me steady

Sunday, May 1, 2016

If I had not gone through my pain
I wouldn't know how completely He heals

If I hadn't cried those tears 
I wouldn't know He collects them in a bottle

If I hadn't had my heart broken
I wouldn't know how much He loves me

If I hadn't walked the hard roads
I wouldn't know He directs my paths

If I hadn't been in need
I wouldn't know how He provides

I wouldn't trade these lessons for an easier life. 
I have a life so free 
A life so full









Saturday, April 30, 2016

See beyond

See beyond 

Beyond the surface
Beyond the physical

To the heart
The soul

So easy to take people at face value 
But never see the value beyond 

Take the time 
Feel the heart 
See the soul

Time never wasted 

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

If people could see

If people could see the wounds left by their words and actions

If people could see the pieces left behind of a broken heart 

If people could see the tears that have fallen from eyes filled with them

If people could see the soul torn in sorrow 

Maybe they would be more mindful
Maybe they would be more caring
Maybe they would be more loving
Maybe they wouldn't bring the pain

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Just be

Just be

Be in the moment
This is the time that matters

Be present
Be loving 
Be aware
Be open

Just be
Don't rush ahead
Time moves fast enough 

Find the joy
Find the beauty
Find the peace
In each moment

Don't miss it
Just be

Friday, April 22, 2016

Heart always searching
Wanting a place to land

Peace
Be still

Covered by Christ's love
Treasured 
Kept safe

Prone to wander
Searching once again

My heart gets weary
Disappointed
And sometimes 
Broken

Back again 
Jesus, keep it

Peace 
Be still

Saturday, April 16, 2016

The love I ache for can only come from Him
Empty places filled by His presence 

Soothe my soul
Fill my longings 

I want no one but You

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Wavering

I trust 
I don't

I remember 
I forget 

You've walked me through the tough times. 
You were there 

Why is it so easy to forget

Steadfast is Your Love
Your truth

You. 
You are steadfast

I am not

How I want to be

I want to trust
To remember 

You've never failed me
You never will

Wavering

I trust 
I don't

I remember 
I forget 

You've walked me through the tough times. 
You were there 

Why is it so easy to forget

Steadfast is Your Love
Your truth

You. 
You are steadfast

I am not

How I want to be

I want to trust
To remember 

You've never failed me
You never will

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Time so cruel
Passing so quickly
Once Hot Wheels and baseballs 
Now moving away in the Fall

Books read
Balls thrown 
Prayers prayed 
I love you's said

Time flies
So bittersweet 
Mom smiles with tears
Memories to keep 

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

You have now

Take a step beyond

Beyond the pain
Beyond the shame
Beyond the regret 

Can't go back
Can't change choices made
Can't become who you should have been back then

You have now

There is still
A future
A hope
A plan 

You have today and it's beautiful

You have now

Take a step beyond

Beyond the pain
Beyond the shame
Beyond the regret 

Can't go back
Can't change choices made
Can't become who you should have been back then

You have now

There is still
A future
A hope
A plan 

You have today and it's beautiful

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Fill me

Constant need
Fill me
From one thing to the next
From one person to the next

Fill me
It's only a filter 
Temporary
Runs out

Fill me, Jesus
Becomes a flow

Flow through me
Fill the empty places
Fill the hurts
Fill the needs

Fullness
Satisfied 
Content 

Fill me, Jesus

Friday, March 18, 2016

Moving on

Deleted old numbers 
Wish I could delete the memories

Mistakes 
Hurt
Damage done

Removing the ties
Healing the pain
Moving forward 

Reclaiming pieces of me

Thursday, March 17, 2016

The voice within

The voice within tears me down
When I let it
The voice within breaks my own heart
When I let it
The voice within tells me I'm not worth it
When I let it

The voice within needs
New words
New thoughts 
New truths 

Over and over
Letter by letter
Truth by truth

Read it
Speak it
Believe it

Faith (in me) comes by hearing
And hearing by the Word of God

Chosen
Loved
Redeemed
Righteous 
Cherished
Daughter of the Most High

Renewed mind
Renewed heart 
Renewed strength 

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Who am I?

Who am I?
Take this quiz
Take this test

All in fun, but aren't we all looking for answers, affirmations?

Tell me who I am
Smart?
Sexy?
Fun?
What kind of friend?
What kind of mom?
What kind of woman?
What kind of man?

Who am I?
Answers truly only found within

Within us
Within Christ 
Within His Word

True selves revealed when we look in the right places. 

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Roads

Don't look back they say
You aren't going that way 

But looking back can be a blessing
See where you have come?

Rocky roads
Smooth roads
Dark roads 
Colorful roads

All have led you to where you are now
It's ok to look back with thankfulnes

He has blessed you 
He has protected you 
He has helped you grow

Look back on the road that brought you here

Right now
To this very time and place 

A divine purpose for it all

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Only in Him

Only in Him do I find my strength 
Only in Him do I find my purpose
Only in Him do I find who I am

I am nothing without my Father
Adrift at sea
Tossed
Turned

Fix my eyes on Him
Storms my rage in me
He brings me peace and clarity

My life in Him
Complete

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Seasons

Seasons
Moments

Life always changing
Always flowing

Some people with you for a moment
Some for a lifetime
Connected for a purpose, for such a time as this. 

Something always to be learned 
Teach us about ourselves 
Who we are 
What we need 
What we need to change

Trusting God with who needs to be in my life. 
Part of His purpose
Part of His plan

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Tug of war

Give it...
Take it back
Give it...
Take it back

Tug of war between my will and my spirit

I'm frustrated with His timing
I'm frustrated with not knowing 

Show me something!
Give me something!

He who promised is faithful (Heb. 10:23)

Oh. Yeah. 

You will accomplish what concerns me (Ps 138:8)

Ok 
Giving it back
Your will be done

If I try

If I try to plant
My hopes
My dreams
My desires 
The chance of them not coming to fruition is great. 

If I give them to my God, my Father
He plants
He waters
He brings the sun

They grow
They flourish 

Only in the hands of my Father can my dreams come true. 

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Heart was broken

Heart was broken
What could have been
What should have been 
Played over and over in my mind

Heart was broken
Brought me back to my Father
Opened my eyes to new things, new places
Opened my heart to a Greater Love

Heart was broken
Healed 
Restored 
Renewed 
Redeemed

Heart was broken
Remade into one for my King

Saturday, February 27, 2016

He is the Wind

He is the Wind

So gentle
Plays with my hair
Blows in my face 
Gentle reminders
He is here

So fierce
Destroys old ways
Alters my path
Changes my very being
He is in control

In the reconstruction 
In the rebuilding 
Something more beautiful 
Something more powerful

He is the Wind

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

True love

Broken
Needs unmet
Searching

Books tell of true love
A man
A kiss
A marriage

That's the formula, right?

No

A God
A Son
A Sacrifice

True love

Greater love has no man than this 

Love so bold
Love so healing
Love so complete
Love so true

True love

Only from the One who lovingly created me

Now I know it
Now I can recognize it
Now I can give it
Now I can receive it 

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Letting go

Letting go of what I think my life should be
Letting go of my dreams and desires 

Replacing them with God's perfect plan for my life 

He knows me
He knows my heart
He knows my deepest hopes and dreams
He knows what makes me smile
He knows what I need 

Who better to trust?
The one who makes the mess or the one who brings the beauty from the mess?

My desires changing to His
Bringing beauty and purpose

The beauty in letting go

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Memories

Front porch swing
Making memories

Cousins playing
Breeze blowing

Phone camera capturing moments

But wait

Soak it in instead 
The sights 
The sounds

Children's laughter
Chimes ringing 
Wind softly blowing 

Smiles as I remember a childhood outside
Playing
Fishing
Exploring 

Making memories once again. 

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Power

“I pray that the perception of your mind may be enlightened so you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the glorious riches of His inheritance among the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of His power to us who believe, according to the working of His vast strength.”
Ephesians 1:18-19 HCSB

Limitless
Immeasurable 
Surpassing
Incredible greatness
Exceeding greatness
Immensity 
Utter extravagance

Words that describe the power of God

Yet we limit ourselves, not fully comprehending that same power is in us!
Same power that raised Christ from the dead

What would the world look like if we lived in that knowledge?
The eyes of our hearts enlightened to know and understand. 

Open our eyes, Lord

We live blinded
We live limited

Lost

Lost in the yesterdays
Past feelings

Just want them again 

The highs
The smiles 
The butterflies 

Lost in lies

The tears
The pain
The regrets 

Gotta move past
It's gone

In the Quiet

I want to meet You in the quiet 

Quiet my mind
Past mistakes 
Wrong decisions
Keep me awake at night

Quiet my heart
Seeking the wrong things
Loving ones not for me
Breaking...
Wounding...

Quiet my mind with Your Word
Quiet my heart with Your Love

Meet You in the quiet
The stillness

Sing over me
Words that heal
I'll listen for Your voice

In the quiet 

Sunday, February 14, 2016

I'm Yours

Psalm 31:5
Into Your hand I entrust my spirit;
You redeem me, Lord, God of truth.


Prayer prayed

On the cross
At a stoning
In a quiet room

Surrender of a life back to its Creator

Surrender...

Giving up control
So hard
Gotta make it work
It's all on me
If I let go...what will happen?

Peace, be still
He calmed my storms
Walking on water instead of sinking
Eyes on Him

I entrust my life to You
I entrust my heart to You
I entrust my entire being to You

I'm Yours





Friday, February 12, 2016

Paths

Winding roads
Different paths 

Change of direction 

I didn't mean to go this way
Somehow it led me to where I needed to be

Walked a hard road

Heartache
Pain 
Grief

Only lasts for a season

Joy
Peace 
Love

Paths change
Hard for a time, then joy

Keep walking

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Thirst

Thirst so deep
Water cannot quench

Thirst so deep
Human love cannot satisfy

Thirst so deep
Brings sorrow to the bones

Thirst so deep

Only One 
Living water

Flood through me
Quench my thirst
Satisfy my longings 
Joy so abundant

Thirst so deep
Only Jesus

Monday, February 8, 2016

A touch of faith

The tassel on His robe 
The hem of His garment

Just a touch to be made whole

Reaching out
Taking that step

A little show of faith
That's all Christ needs

A touch is all it takes
Healing can come 

Matthew 14:36
Mark 5:28

Sunday, February 7, 2016

The Beauty in letting go

There's such a beauty in letting go

We want to control
We want to see all the steps
We want to depend on ourselves 

But we can't 

Sometime we allow the chaos
Sometimes it just barges in

Chaos - complete disorder and confusion
A mess

Let go and let God

Let go and let God bring order
Let go and let God bring understanding
Let go and let God bring a beauty to your life

I have found such a beauty in letting go
I see it
I feel it

Such a peace
A joy in just being free

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Wait...Trust...Rest

Wait
Trust
Rest

I'm impatient!!
Ready!!
Let's go!!

Enough time wasted
Doing my thing
Ignoring
Turned away from You

I'm ready, God!
Do Your thing!

Wait...
He's working

Trust
He's working

Rest
He's working

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Pieces of Me

Pieces of my heart
Given away

Laid down
Discarded
Unwanted
Rejected

Gathered them up
Tears in my eyes

What do I do now?

Pieces of my heart

Broken
Scattered

Take them to the King

It's all I have
I'm sorry
I wish it was whole
I wish it was perfect, unbroken

Oh my daughter
This is what I do

I take the pieces of you
Tenderly
Lovingly
Reverently

Mended
Cared for
Put back together
Beautifully
Perfectly
Wholly


Heart for my King

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Anticipation

“Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

Isaiah 43:19 AMP

I feel an anticipation 
An excitement 

God is up to something 

I don't know what or how or when
But it's coming

I've felt a shift inside me
Things coming to order

Not just inside but in my home 
Like I'm getting ready for something

Almost like getting ready to give birth
Nesting

I can't wait to see what God has planned 
It's so exciting that He is up to something 
I can almost see Him smiling down at me

Oh, My daughter 
Be patient 
You will love it

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Tenderly broken

There's a tenderness that comes after being broken. 

Sometimes you're taught rigid ideals and beliefs. Black and white. 

Brokenness breaks down the rigidness like a meat tenderizer softens tough meat. The process is painful and hard to experience, but after...

After you get it
After you understand
After you can sit in the pit with those that hurt and feel their pain with them

There's nothing that can connect people more than when you can understand their hurts, their pains. 

Connecting with someone's joy is easy. Nothing to it. 

Connecting with someone in pain means you feel it. You take on some of their pain. That's not easy. Who wants to do that?  

The broken. 

Because we know. 

We know what it feels like to be in such pain and turmoil and feel alone.  
No one should feel that way. 

So bring on your pain. 
Let me see it
Let me feel it
Let me bring you to the One who can heal it. 

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Connection

A like
A comment
A share

We all want connection

Like my mind
Comment on my heart 
Share my soul

Cheap connection 
Easy
Protected

You can't look in my eyes
See my heart
See my hurt
See my need

So I post
Giving a glimpse
Hoping someone sees just a little of what my eyes don't want to show 

Monday, January 18, 2016

Still

A flame kindled
A passion ignited
A love renewed 

He's showing me His love 
He's on the pursuit 

My heart is His desire
As is His is mine. 

No chase
No games
No need to pretend

He knows all of me 
Yet loves me still