Healing comes...

Yesterday I walked in the house that used to be my own and broke down.

the pain
the grief
the loss

Last night, the healing began.

prayer
Scripture
God...just spending time with God.

A strength began to grow.

time for life to change
time to make it my own

this is my story
this is my song
praising my Savior all the day long
this is my story
this is my song
praising my Savior all the day long

Grief uncovered leads to a grief healed.

I thought I had grieved.  Goodness knows I've cried rivers of tears.

Psalm 56:8New Living Translation (NLT)

8     You have collected all my tears in your bottle.You have recorded each one in your book.
You keep track of all my sorrows.

Bet that book is pretty thick after the past few years.

I'm not going to say I'm finished, that I'm done, completely healed.  
Is that even possible?

But I'm ready to make a life of my own.
On HIS terms, not mine.

Sometimes the pain can come out of nowhere...

you thought you had dealt with it.
you thought you were through it.

then it hits you.

Nothing will ever be like it was.

I don't have someone by my side anymore.
I don't have my sons living with me anymore.
I don't have my house anymore.
I don't have the same friends anymore
I don't even have my dog anymore.

Divorce sucks.

a death of a dream
a death of ideals and beliefs

Loss...

I thought I'd been picking up the pieces and putting me back together.
Have I really?
Or have I been pushing them to the side, ignoring them.
Trying not to feel or deal with the pain of the loss of my life.

Father God,

Heal me.
Help me.
Give me strength
Put me back together
I feel so lost.
Lead me
Show me
Love me

Just me..

I am who I am.

Daughter
Mother
Friend

Rough around the edges because of life.

Loved by God
Lover of God

A bit sassy
A bit sarcastic

I laugh
I cry

Finally at the point where all I want to be is who God wants me to be.  Nothing else.
No other labels.
No other expectations.

I am His only.

Set apart for a time to become...to learn...to experience what He has for me.

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

Unbreakable - Fireflight