Scaredy Cat

Why am I so afraid to move forward into what God has for me?

I'm afraid I won't measure up to someone else's standards.

God led me to put together curriculum for a daycamp that was held last month at our church. It was such a cool thing to just experience God working through me. It just flowed beautifully, as only He can do it. That week came and I had such an attack of insecurity and anxiety. I wasn't able to enjoy it at all! I wanted so much to get approval from people that I let it steal any joy, any blessing, I could have received that week.

That kinda threw me into a downward spiral. Didn't want to leave the house, disconnected a bit. It was a tough month for me.

Hindsight is 20/20. What I see now is that satan wanted to steal the joy and blessing from me and he knew how to do it. INSECURITY

I didn't do it right
I look stupid
I'm an idiot
They don't like me.

I should know by now that when God calls me to do something, He will equip me.
When He calls me, it's because He believes in me. He knows me. (Psalm 139)

He loves me!

I have GOT to stop looking at people for approval or acceptance. It's only His that I need. Besides, I have an absolutely wonderful husband that loves me and has put up with me for 18 1/2 years. Parents that support and believe in me, Friends that do the same. I am so blessed.
If someone doesn't like me or whatever...that's what I should say...WHATEVER! LOL!

I've been reading Beth Moore's book, So Long Insecurity, and it's helped me see a lot. I'm hoping that next time, I'll be prepared a bit more.

On another note: I sent off my application for Seminary today. We'll see what happens!!